The Three P’s by Joshua Marx – A speech for America’s police officers.
Hello, my name is Joshua David Marx. I am 30 years of age. I have been the recipient of intensive, extensive, and comprehensive mental health treatment since I was eight years of age. Over the past twenty two years, I have been diagnosed with a vast variety of psychiatric mental health disorders, including the following: Borderline Personality Disorder. Bipolar Disorder Disorder. Schizoaffective Disorder. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I am a native of Rochester, New York. I was born on December 27th 1993. At, Highland Hospital. Highland Hospital is located in the downtown section of the city of Rochester, New York. I was raised in the Rochester suburban town of Greece. By my mother, Kristin, and my father, Brian. I am the oldest of five children. I have three younger brothers. Their names are: Adam, Jacob, and Sam. I also have one younger sister, her name is, Sarah. Growing up, throughout my childhood; the main, primary mechanism that I used to cope with my perpetual mental health anguish was, sports. Watching sports. And, especially, playing sports.
I initially began playing organized sports at the age of four. When, my mother signed me up to play in the local Greece youth soccer league. Furthermore, throughout my youth. Throughout my childhood. I also played a number of other organize sports. Including: Organized youth baseball. Organized youth basketball. I participated in organized youth lacrosse. But, undoubtedly, unquestionably, my favorite sport to both play and watch, was football. I started playing organized with football atge age of eight. When my mother and father signed me up to play for the local Greece Cardinals’ youth football team. I played for the Greece Cardinals youth football team for six years. My father coached me all six of those years.
I played my final football season as a Greece Cardinals football player when I was in the eighth grade. After I completed my eighth grade middle school education at Greece Apollo Middle School, my parents enrolled me at Greece Olympia High School. I played for the Greece Olympia Spartans football team. I played the running back position. I was a running back. During my senior season of high school football as the starting running back for he Greece Olympia Spartans football team, I ran for 1,202 yards and 10 touchdowns. Moreover, during my senior season of high school football, I set the Greece Olympia football record for most rushing yards in a single game. I ran for two hundred and eighty six yards against the Brighton Barons football team in Week Five of my senior season of high school football, as the Greece Olympia Spartans’ football team’s starting running back. My football coaches named me the MVP of the Greece Olympia Spartans football team for my senior season. Furthermore, in the wake of my senior season of High School football with the Greece Olympia Spartans, I was named to the All Monroe County Football Team. I was also named to the All Greater Rochester Football Team.
I was heavily recruited by numerous college football programs, to play football for their college football programs. Including the following: Cornell University. Yale University. Edinboro University. Brockport College. Hartwick College. Hobart College. St. John Fisher College. Ultimately, I opted to attend the University of Rochester. The University of Rochester was my dream school. Since, I was a sixth grader in middle school, I knew that the University of Rochester. The U of R. Was the place where I wanted to pursue my higher education.
There were multiple variables that factored into the University of Rochester. The U of R. Being my top choice for college. First of all, the University of Rochester is one of the most distinguished colleges in all of America. And, also the world at large. The University of Rochester is a university that ranks right up there with the likes of Ivy League schools such as Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, and Cornell, in terms of prestige. Also, there was the family tradition factor. There was the legacy factor. My grandfather, Gerald Marx, attended the University of Rochester and earned his Master’s Degree in Business Administration from the U of R. Also, my Uncle, Billy Marx, a professional chemist, earned his PHD in Chemistry from the University of Rochester.
In addition, the University of Rochester was close to home. The University of Rochester’s campus is very close to where I grew up. The U of R campus is a mere ten minute drive from my childhood home. This was very important and convenient. Why? Well, because I relied heavily on my family for support. I still do. This includes mental health support, and financial support as well.
Finally, there were the strictly football related reasons why I chose to go to the U of R. From, a football standpoint, the University of Rochester Yellowjackets’ football team operated under a Power-I formation style offense. The Power-I offense was the type of football offense that I was most familiar with. The Power-I offense is the same offense that my Greece Olympia Spartans football coach, Tim Hill, ran during my time as the Greece Olympia Spartans’ starting running back.
In the world of football, the Power-I offense, is the perfect offense for running backs like myself. Running backs who are relatively large in stature. Running backs who are fiercely strong and powerful. Running backs who are also tremendously fast, and who are also devastatingly quick.
Throughout my high school years, my favorite hobby was weightlifting. I enjoyed weightlifting even more than I enjoyed playing football. When I graduated from Greece Olympia High school, I held all of the school’s weightlifting records. When I was a senior in high school, I was able to bench press four hundred and five pounds. I was able to squat five hundred and thirty pounds and I was able to deadlift five hundred and fifteen pounds.
I was very fast. I was able to run the forty yard dash in 4.7 seconds when I was eighteen years old. My Greece Olympia Spartans football coach, Tim Hill, implemented the Power-I offense based on my skill set, and as a result, I excelled as a high school football player. I had a tremendous high school football career. And, I was fully intent on having a tremendous college football career playing in the University of Rochester Yellowjackets’ Power-I offense. From there, my plan was to be drafted into the National Football League. The NFL. By a team that also operated under the Power-I offense. And, establish a Hall of Fame professional football career.
It took me ten years of spilling all of my sweat. All of my tears. All of my blood. And, then some. In order to put myself in a position to make my dream of becoming an NFL running back come true. Yet, it took just three short weeks for that very same dream to be killed. Destroyed. Annihilated. Incinerated. Eliminated forever.
I arrived into the University of Rochester campus in August of 2012 for preseason University of Rochester Yellowjackets’ college football training camp. In the first three weeks of University of Rochester Yellowjackets’ college football preseason training camp, I suffered three debilitating injuries. All of which occurred to my left ankle. The damage that was caused by these devastating injuries required extensive ligament reconstruction surgery. The surgery was a success. However, due to the severe damage that was caused by these injuries that I’d sustained, my football career was over. My dream was over. It had been extinguished. Just like that.
Football, was my life. Training to be the best football player that I could be, was my life. Being a running back was my life. Football was all I had. Without football, I had nothing. Without football, I was nothing.
Following the three severe, excruciating, debilitating injuries to my left ankle. Following the abrupt, untimely, unceremonious conclusion to my football career. Following the dissolution. The destruction. The termination, of my hopes and dreams. I fell into a depression that was deeper than Atlantis. I dropped out of college and I have not returned in the twelve years since. After I dropped out of college, I entered a period of time in my life that I refer to as: ” Ten years of Turmoil.”. These, “Ten years of Turmoil,” consisted of the following: Ten years of perpetual pain. Ten years of major depression. Ten years of insufferable suffering. Ten years of wanting to die. Ten years of suicide attempts. Ten years of hospitalizations. Ten years of moving one step forward, only to move ten steps backwards.
I attempted suicide ten times during the, “Ten years of Turmoil.”. And, I tried to terminate my own existence using a variety of methods. I have attempted suicide by trying to hang myself. I have attempted suicide by overdosing on prescription medications. I have attempted suicide by chugging an entire jug of laundry detergent. I have even attempted suicide by jumping off of a bridge.
Moreover, during the, “Ten years of Turmoil,” I was mental hygiene arrested eighty seven different times. In the state of New York, a mental hygiene arrest is administered when an individual is experiencing an apparent mental health crisis, and that apparent mental health crisis has resulted in the individual posing an imminent physical threat to themselves or others. When a mental hygiene arrest is administered, police officers from the local Police department will drive together scene of where the individual is experiencing the mental health crisis. The police officers that show up to the scene of the crisis to initiate the mental hygiene arrest will detain the individual who is experiencing the mental health crisis. This means handcuffing the individual if that is necessary in order to accommodate the safety of the individual themselves and anybody else who may be succeptiple to bodily harm as a result of the individual’s mental health crisis. The police officers who arrive at the scene of the individual’s mental health crisis will page an ambulance to come to the scene. When the ambulance gets to the scene, the police officers will assist the paramedics and EMT’s with getting the crisis stricken individual into the ambulance. After The individual is secured inside the ambulance, the paramedics and EMT’S will transport the individual to a nearby hospital so that they can receive whatever treatment they need. The police officers who initially arrive on the scene will escort the ambulance to the hospital.
Despite the, “Ten years of Turmoil.”. Despite the Ten years of constant, incessant pain and suffering. Despite the Ten years of feeling like an abject pathetic and worthless failure. Despite the Ten years of feeling like a complete and utter disgrace to my family, my friends, and also myself. I was able to recover. During the, “Ten years of Turmoil, I rediscovered my passion and love for the art of creative writing. After my severe, debilitating, and catastrophic left ankle injuries killed my football career I needed an outlet to express the deep and dark doomsday depression that I was feeling. So, I turned to writing. After my football dream was assassinated by the Hitman known as cruel fate; I deployed my acumen for creative writing. The mission that I gave my creative writing abilities was the mission of sufficiently articulating and expressing how and what I was feeling in the aftermath of what I had been through.
I decided to cope with the murder of my dream by creating a murder mystery of my own. My first book, “Taking a Hit,” by Joshua Marx, was published in July of 2015. You can purchase it on Amazon.com. The link is at the end of the post. I have also written several speeches, which I have been performing for three years in front of a variety of audiences. I have performed speeches in front of law enforcement officers. Police officers. In the past, I have given a speech to a group of hostage negotiators. I have performed speeches in front of mental health professionals. I have performed speeches in front of social workers. I have performed speeches in front of classes of college students. The main, primary, and central theme of my speeches has remained the same in each speech- How to comfort, support, and help those who are suffering through mental health hardship.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, I have been the subject of eighty seven mental hygiene arrests. By definition, this means that I have had eighty seven separate encounters with law enforcement while in an emotional state that was deemed to be potentially dangerous for me and perhaps others as well. Therefore, as it pertains to when a police officer encounters an individual who is experiencing a mental health crisis; I know what works. And perhaps more importantly, I know what doesn’t work. So, here we go……………
The first tip that I am going to give you police officers, for when you encounter an individual who is experiencing a mental health crisis is to remain calm. Remain calm. Be calm. By nature, a mental health crisis, Mental Hygiene Arrest is generally, typically a chaotic, frenetic, combustible and tense situation. Chances are, when you as police officers encounter an individual who is suffering through a mental health crisis, that person will be on edge. They may be erratic. That person may be shaking. That person may be talking loudly and rapidly. To be frank, the individual who is in a mental health crisis may not be in control of their inhibitions. Yes, all of you here are police officers. But, before any of you were police officers, you were all human beings first. And, as human beings, naturally, when you encounter a person who is in an agitated, excited, erratic state; you yourself will have the urge, the impulse, he temptation to become agitated, excited, and erratic yourself. But, you can’t. You do not have that luxury. You don’t. You must be calm. You must remain calm. I know personally from experience, that, when someone is suffering through a mental health crisis and a police officer shows up to the scene and the police officer shows up embracing a calm, cool, and collected body posture. That can make all the difference. I know personally, from experience, that when I am suffering through a mental health crisis, and a police officer is called to the scene; if the police officer’s demeanor is one that is calm, then, their demeanor will naturally rub off on me and I too will become calm.
However, on the contrary, if I’m going through a mental health crisis and a police officer arrives onto the scene with an animated, tense, aggressive, frenetic posture; then I took would have the impulse, the compulsion, the urge to become, tense. Animated. Erratic, and frenetic. When both the individual who is experiencing the mental health crisis, and the responding police officer are in an excited, turbulent, hostile state; that is not a recipe for a peaceful, civil, amicable, congenial outcome. Rather, that is a recipe for friction. That is a recipe for disaster. That is a recipe for the situation potentially getting out of hand. That is a recipe for people getting harmed. That is a recipe for perhaps a tragedy taking place. But, if you are able to remain calm. Then, there is a good, decent, perhaps even great likelihood that the individual who is suffering the mental health crisis will be able to become calm themselves. And, when you and the enburdened individual are both calm, that will the you your best chance to come to calm, congenial, peaceful, amicable resolution with the individual who is experiencing the mental health crisis.
Now, the next tip that I am going to give you law enforcement officers, for when you encounter an individual who is going through a mental health crisis is the following: Talk with a light tone. Speak to them in a light soft tone of voice. Similar to embracing a calm, physical demeanor, speaking to an individual who is suffering through a mental health crisis while using a soft, light tone of voice can also mean the difference between your encounter with the individual ending in a peaceful, amicable resolution and your encounter with the individual potentially ending in tragedy. When you encounter an individual who is suffering through a mental health crisis, I know from personal experience that when an individual is experiencing a mental health crisis, and a police officer shows up to the scene; and, they start talking to me while using a loud tone of voice. And, they start talking to me while using an aggressive tone. Then I will become more uneasy than I already am. I will become more tense. I will become frightened. I will become more agitated. When an individual is uneasy, tense, frightened, scared; that will make your job, as it pertains to managing and stabilizing that individual’s mental health crisis, all the more difficult. This goes without saying. But, when you as police officers engage an individual who is going through a mental health crisis, by speaking to them in a light, calm, congenial, and collected tone, that will resonate with them. Much like having a calm physical demeanor will resonate with the individual who is experiencing a mental health crisis, talking to them in a light tone will resonate with them as well. Why? Because, that light tone in your voice will help them to pause, take a deep breath, and loosen the tension that they are feeling within themselves. At least, somewhat. Then, once the individual is able to take a deep breath, and loosen some of the tension that they are feeling within themselves; then it is at that point when you will be able to proceed with effectively managing the individual’s mental health crisis. So, again, when you encounter an individual who is in a mental health crisis, make sure you talk to them in a light tone. Speaking to the individual in a light tone will help you bring that individual’s mental health crisis to a calm, congenial, peaceful resolution.
The next tip that I am going to provide you police officers with, for when you encounter an individual who is suffering through a mental health crisis, is to simply smile. Again. From experience. Going through a mental health crisis is a profoundly scary experience. When I am going through a mental health crisis, it feels like everything is out of control. When I am going a mental health crisis, I feel like I, myself, am out of control. When I am going through a mental health crisis, either, I feel like I am going to die; or, the pain,the discomfort, the stress,that is caused by the mental health crisis, is so powerful that it makes me want to die. It makes me wish that I were dead.
Again, from my own personal experiences, when I am experiencing a mental health crisis, and a police officer arrives onto the scene, and that police officer is wearing a frowning, scowling, angry, perturbed expression upon their face. That would cause me to become even more uncomfortable. Even more distressed. Even more tense. Even more internally turbulent. Than I already was prior to you, the police, arriving onto the scene. Plus, I know that for me personally, and probably for most people when a police officer arrives onto a scene and approaches them with a scowl on their face, it is an intimidating sight. It is an intimidating experience when a uniformed police officer approaches you and does so while looking all serious, angry, an unfriendly. This is especially the case when a uniformed police officer is approaching you and you didn’t do anything wrong. You just happen to be having a medical issue that you need assistance with. A medical issue that you have no control over. But, again, I know from experience that when I am going through a mental health crisis, and a police officer shows up to the scene, and that police officer is wearing a smile on their face. That can make all the difference. Because, when you as a police officer arrive onto the scene of a mental health crisis and you do so with a smile on your face. For that individual who is going through the mental health crisis, you instantly turn that interaction from a tense confrontation with a police officer, into a pleasant encounter with an altruistic stranger. Then, from there. Once, the temperature of the encounter is lowered. And, once the tension is lowered. The encounter just becomes a friendly conversation between two people. With one person just trying to help the other person out. And, that dynamic will be a much easier dynamic to operate under. As it pertains to helping the individual who was experiencing the mental health crisis manage the situation effectively. So, yes, whenever you arrive onto a scene at which someone is experiencing a mental health crisis. Make sure that you smile. Make sure that you do so with a smile.
Another very important piece of advice that I would like to give you police officers is this: Never. And, I mean, never. Accuse a subject of doing something for attention. Whenever you encounter a person who is experiencing a mental health crisis. Never accuse the person who is experiencing the crisis of exhibiting the behavior for the purpose of getting attention.
As I mentioned and explained earlier in this speech, I have attempted suicide numerous times, and I have done so in a variety of ways. This includes my most recent suicide attempt, which took place on October 26th, 2017. On this day I jumped off of the Court Street Bridge, which is located in downtown Rochester, NY. The Genesee River flows directly underneath the Court Street Bridge. After I jumped off of the Court Street Bridge and into the Genesee River, my left foot and ankle were completely mangled. It was as if that entire part of my body had been put through a shredder. I was immobilized and in freezing water for forty minutes.
Now, there were multiple reasons why I made that jump that day. For one, I was depressed beyond what I believed was my threshold. I felt like I was an abject failure in life. I felt like I had disgraced my family, my friends and everyone who had ever believed in me. Everyone who believed that Joshua Marx could be something. Also, when I made the decision to jump off of the Court Street Bridge, my OCD had completely overwhelmed me to the point that I was have to be productive. Even in the most rudimentary sense. However, what truly stimulated me jumping off of the Court Street Bridge on October 26th, 2017 was something that happened approximately one month before the suicide attempt .
Approximately, one month prior to my Court Street Bridge jumping suicide attempt, I was at the Court Street Bridge planning to take the leap of death on that day. Rochester Police Department law enforcement officers, including the then Rochester Chief of Police, Michael Ciminelli. These police officers spent thirty five minutes trying to convince me to not jump off of the Court Street Bridge that day. And, they were successful. I did not jump off of the bridge that day. The Chief of Police, and the other law enforcement officers who showed up to the scene that evening were able to convince me to step over the railing of the Court Street Bridge and get to safety. I was subsequently placed under mental hygiene arrest. And, I was transported to a nearby hospital to be given a mental health evaluation.
As is par for the course, as it pertains to Mental Hygiene Arrests in New York State, after I arrived at the hospital I spoke to a Psychiatric Assignment Officer. And, the Psychiatric Assignment Officer accused me of standing on the bridge that night solely for attention. Just for attention. After this Psychiatric Assignment Officer accused me of doing what I did that evening just to get attention and feel some cheap thrills, I erupted. I became extremely angry. I started yelling at the Psychiatric Assignment Officer. I cursed at the Psychiatric Assignment Officer. The Psychiatric Officer then became very upset themselves, and they stormed out on the room that we were talking inside of. I was discharged from the hospital early the next morning.
I listed the aforementioned reasons for why I jumped off of the Court Street Bridge on October 26th, 2017. But being accused of attention seeking behavior one month before was probably the biggest reason why I ultimately jumped off of the bridge and came inches away from death.
Attention. You were just doing it for attention. It was all for attention. You were just looking for attention when you cut your wrists. You were just looking for attention when you overdosed on those pills. You were just looking for attention when you stood on that chair and tied the noose around your neck. You were just looking for attention when you put the barrel of the gun to your head and your finger tapped the trigger as you contemplated blowing your head off. Also, you were just looking for attention when you stood on the edge of the bridge and contemplated the pros and cons of jumping off. You were also just looking for attention when you miraculously survived your suicide attempt. You were just looking for attention when you called 911and requested an ambulance because you were feeling unsafe. No. No. Bullshit. These aforementioned actions of a deeply distressed, dejected, depressed person who feels like there is no way out, are not the actions of an attention seeking person. No.
You want to know what is attention seeking behavior? Streaking and running across a football field during a football game. Naked. That is attention seeking behavior. Scream obscenities in a crowded supermarket. That is attention seeking behavior. A mental health crisis is not a cry for attention.
When a person is hit by a car and their leg is broken, is that person who’s leg has been snapped in half just looking for attention? When a person has a heart attack and needs to be resuscitated, are they just looking for attention? The answer is obviously, no. The obvious difference between physical and mental illness is that you can see physical illness but mental illness is invisible. Hence, why they call mental illness the, “Invisible Enemy.”
The sun. Trees. Grass. It is easy for people to acknowledge the existence of these things because we humans see them every day.
Big Foot. The Loch Ness Monster. Aliens from Mars. Haunting ghosts. These are things that no one has ever seen before. Therefore, according to the human mind, they do not exist. They don’t exist. They have never existed.
As the older saying goes: Perception is reality. If you see it, then it’s there. If you can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist. You can see a broken arm. You can see a broken leg. You can tell when a person is having a Heart Attack or a Stroke. You can’t see mental illness. You can’t see depression. You can’t see anxiety. You can’t see Bipolar Disorder. You can’t see Borderline Personality Disorder. You can’t see Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You can’t see Schizophrenia. You can’t see Schizoaffective Disorder. Why? Because these things are all inside one’s head. You can’t see them. Again, mental illness is the “Invisible Enemy.” Therefore, because mental illness is the, “Invisible Enemy,” it is hard for people to be sympathetic towards a mental illness sufferer. When the Psychiatric Assignment Officer told me that I walked over to the bridge on that particular day just to Garner attention, I felt challenged. By telling me that I was just looking for attention, I felt like the Psychiatric assignment officer was telling that I wasn’t really feeling the pain that I was feeling to the degree that I was feeling it. That I was never actually contemplating suicide. So, therefore, I had to prove that I was actually suicidal. I had to prove to them that I was actually feeling as bad as I was. Therefore, the next time that I went to the bridge, I could not hesitate. I could not let anyone help me. I had to just go to the bridge and show that I had the resolve to go through with it. Prove that I had the fortitude to go through with what I had the urge to do. Jump off the damn bridge and let fate take it’s course. So, that is what t did. So, in a way, me jumping of off the bridge on October 26th, 2017, was also me giving the finger to that Psychiatric Assignment Officer and all the others who had a accused d my symptomatic behavior as being attention seeking behavior.
So, yes, whenever you as police officers encounter a person who is experiencing a mental health crisis, never accuse the individual of seeking attention. Because, one, accusing them of seeking attention will invalidate the pain and suffering that they are feeling. And, two, accusing them of attention seeking may very well inspire them to prove your accusations to be wrong. So, yes. Bottom line. When you encounter a person who is going through a mental health crisis, never accuse them of looking for attention.
Now, I will close with this. As I mentioned before, I grew up playing football. I played football from the time I was eight years of age, until I suffered my injuries at the age of eighteen. I played the running back position. I scored a total of thirty nine touchdowns over the course of my football career. Because of my OCD, my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I don’t think ink about any of these touchdowns very much. Instead, the football memory of mine that I spend the most time think about is my worst football memory, and for me that memory is what I refer to as, “The Fumble.” In football. When you play the running back position, the two most humiliating things that can happen to you, while playing the running back position, are the following: Getting stuffed. Tackled. And stopped, at the goal-line or on a fourth and one of two yards to go. The other is fumbling he football and watching the other team recover that fumble.
In my ten years of playing football, I only fumbled he football and lost that fumble to the opposing team one time. And, that was when I was in the eighth grade. The eighth grade was the final year that I played football as a member of he Greece Cardinals football team, before I went to Greece Olympia High School and played football for their football program. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the second game of my eighth grade year playing for the Greece Cardinals football team. I was the Greece Cardinals starting running back. We, the Greece Cardinals were playing against our arch rivals, the Gates Stallions. This game was being played at the Aquinas High School football stadium.
It was the first play from scrimmage. We, the Greece Cardinals, were on offense. The Gates Stallions were on defense. I was my number five Maroon, black, and white uniform. Standing across from me on the other side of the ball were the Gates Stallions’ football defenders, wearing their blue and white uniforms. The best player on the Gates Stallions defense was wearing he number forty four. Number forty four was the Gates Stallions’ middle linebacker.
I remember the play call. Twenty six blast. Twenty six blast was an off tackle run to the right. The play was designed for me,the running back. Our Greece Cardinals football team’s center, DJ Spitale, snapped football to his fraternal twin brother, and the quarterback of our Greece Cardinals football team, Alex Spitale. The quarterback, Alex Spitale, handed me the football. I took two steps. Number forty four, he middle linebacker for the Gates Stallions blitzed through the middle and hit me with a punishing hit. The velocity of the crushing hit from the middle linebacker not only dislodged the ball from my arms, it also lifted me at least one foot into air. When I landed on e ground. On my back, I watched as another Gates Stallions defender jumped on the ground and recovered my fumble.
We, the Greece Cardinals lost that game to the Gates Stallions by a score of 8 to 0. I was despondent. I was depressed. At that point in my life. At the ripe age of thirteen. That was truly the worst pain that I had ever felt in my life. At that time. My Dad was an Assistant Coach on this Greece Cardinals football team. As soon as my dad drove me home after the game that afternoon, I ran into the house. Then, once inside the house, I ran directly into my bedroom. I collapsed down on my bed. And, I immediately began crying an sobbing into my pillow. I was distraught beyond anything that my little thirteen year old adolescent brain could comprehend at the time. What I was feeling at the time was a pain that I had never felt before. It was a deep bone-crushing. Skin-numbing. Heart -wrenching. Soul-smothering pain. It was a pain that I did not know was possible feel. It was as if all of me. My entire being. Had been set ablaze and was being burned by the raging, rapid, rigorous, relentless flame of shame. The number of ears that were continually excreting from my eyes, were too many to count. And, each individual tear felt like it weighed on thousand tons.
Now, the reason why I was so upset wasn’t because we’d lost the game. I’d lost many games before that. The reason was because I’d fumbled he football and lost that fumble. Fumbling the football and losing that fumble. Turning the ball over to the other team. That is unacceptable. Eventually, my Dad walked into my bedroom. My Dad spent three hours talking to me. Comforting me. And, consoling me. I will say, that, my Dad is the greatest man I’ve ever known. I hope to be half the man that he is one day. I truly don’t deserve him.
My Dad proceeded to tell me that: It will be okay. Fumbles happen. Everybody fumbles. My Dad proceeded to tell me that: Even the great Jim Brown fumbled. His personal favorite football player ever, Thurman Thomas fumbled. Even my favorite football player ever, Jerome Bettis fumbled during his illustrious career. And, my father explained to me that each of these Hall of Fame running backs were able to learn from their mistakes and become better football players for their mistakes. My Dad spent three hours sitting in my bedroom and relaying this message to me. My father did so with all of the empathy, compassion, understanding, and most importantly, all of the love that a father can muster.
The very next week, in our game against the Rush Henrietta Comets football team, I scored two touchdowns and we won the game.
Now, you’re asking, why did I share this story with all of you today at this function? Well, allow me to explain. You see today, I view the law enforcement community in Rochester and all across America as being the thirteen year old version of me sobbing into my pillow. Prior to roughly 2014, police officers in America used to make two wishes before they went out to work every day. Those two prayers were as follows: The first wish that police officers would say every day before going out to work every day would be that they would simply be able to return home safely after their shift. That they would be able to return home to their family. To their wife. To their children. To their pets. That by the end of their shift, they would still be in a state in which they would be able to see their mother, their father, their brothers, their sisters, their aunts, their uncles, their cousins, their friends, and co-workers’ faces again.
Secondly, every police officer in America issued a firearm. For good and obvious reasons. The second wish that every good police officer used to make before going to work every day was that they will not be put in a position where they would have to use that firearm.
So, yes, traditionally, for decades, police officers made two wishes before going out to work every day. They would make a wish that they would make it back home safely to their families. And, they would wish that they would not be placed in a situation in which they would need to use force on a suspect. But nowadays, there is a third wish upon a star that American police officers make before going out to work every day, and that wish is that they don’t go to jail and/or have their life ruined just for doing the damn job the right way.
You know, over the Christmas holiday, I was watching documentary. This particular documentary was about what it was like to be a police officer in the immediate aftermath of the death of George Floyd and all of the tension and rioting that followed nationwide. This particular police officer recalled an incident in which he and his partners pulled over a vehicle for a traffic violation. After this male police officer and his partners pulled this car over. The driver of the car got out of the car. This male police officer described the driver of the vehicle as being a Black-African American who was very large. The driver was six feet five inches tall and very heavy-set. Additionally, it was very apparent to this male police officer and his partners; once the driver stepped out of the car, that, this man. The driver, was heavily intoxicated on drugs. When the police officers tried to engage the suspect, he became erratic and violent. Through great effort, he male police officers and his many partners were able to eventually restrain the suspect to the point where he was no longer a physical threat to them.
It was apparently on this male police officer, and his partners, that the suspect was at grave risk of fatally overdosing. So, the male police officer paged an ambulance. In the midst of the commotion, this male police officer interviewed recalled seeing many bystanders pulling out their phones and filming the incident. It was at that moment when his male police officer realized the following: If this suspect. If this man ended up dying, then, he and all of his partners would be going to jail. Not because they did anything wrong. But, because they were police officers. And, because the suspect was Black. It was at that moment,that this police officer made the decision that he just couldn’t do it anymore. So, he resigned from the police force the very next day. He tried in his badge. He quit.
This man explained that for decades, he’d loved being a police officer. His father was a police officer. It was in his blood. He didn’t become a police officer to satisfy some misguided racial animus. No, he joined the police force to protect all of the people of his community. People of all races. Black. White. Hispanic. Asian. Etc. This police officer loved everyone in his community. He didn’t care what they looked like. He didn’t care what their skin color was. He would find his life to protect them all. But in 2020. He decided that being a police officer just wasn’t worth it anymore.
I am a straight shooter. I call things exactly as I see them. I always have and I always will. So, here’s the truth. Many in our news media and many of our politicians, hate the police. Many in our news media and many of our politicians love to foment hatred against law enforcement and they love to stoke racial division. Since at least 2014, politicians and the mainstream media at large have been eating a war on cops. The media does it for cheap ratings. Politicians do it for cheap political points.
Now, let’s go back to the thirteen year old me, crying into my pillow after I fumbled the football in my youth football game. I believe that ,y thirteen year old self crying into my pillow is a good metaphor as it pertains to the state of the modern day American police officer. The tears that our nation’s police officers cry into their collective pillow each and every day and night are tears of helplessness. Tears of abandonment. And yes, even tears of hopelessness. Right now, police officers in America feel helpless because no matter what they do, they can’t win. Much of the mainstream media and many of our nation’s politicians have created an environment in which our politicians cannot win. Our men and women in blue do not feel supported by the media. Nor do our nation’s police officers feel supported by their politicians. Furthermore, American police officers also feel like they don’t have the support of their communities. The very communities that they serve and have pledged to give their lives for if necessary.
The main reason why communities in America don’t trust the police is because of the unholy alliance of the mainstream media and some American politicians. The mainstream media and these politicians have made it their unholy mission to turn the public against the men and women in blue. Just like the Sith Lord made it his mission to turn Anakin Skywalker against Obi-wan Kenobi. Just like Iago made it his mission to turn Othello against Desdemona. In Rocky 5 it was George Washington Duke’s mission to turn Tommy Gunn against Rocky Balboa.
In each of these fictional examples of manipulation, deception, and cruel vindictiveness, the deceiver was successful. Anakin Skywalker turned against the Jedi Knights. He betrayed his mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi, joined the Dark Side and became Darth Vader. Iago was able to convince Othello to kill his wife, Desdemona. In Rocky 5, George Washington Duke was able to turn Tommy Gunn against his boxing mentor, Rocky Balboa. This led, ultimately, to their famous all out knockout brawl at the end of the movie.
Now, the one billion dollar question is has the manipulation, deception, and cruel vindictiveness worked for the mainstream media and some politicians? Have the mainstream media, at large, and some American politicians, succeeded at turning the American public against America’s law enforcement officers? By the way, I intentionally use the words, “Billion dollar” question because one billion dollars is approximately the total amount of money that American cities have defunded from their police budgets since 2020.
In some ways, the mainstream media and politicians have been successful in their crusade against the Police. Morale is at an all time low in the American law enforcement community. Especially since the summer of 2020. Police recruitment is at an all time low. It’s at a fraction of what it’s previous normal was prior to 2020. Police officers are retiring across the country at record rates. It has gotten to the point where earning a pension isn’t even worth staying on the force for many officers. Every time a police use of force incident happens, even under objectively non-controversial circumstances l, the opportunistic media and opportunistic politicians will use that incident to not only, ruin the life of the police officers involved, but to also paint all police officers as evil, racist, psychopathic, bloodlusted murderers. But, here’s the thing. In the case of “Star Wars : Revenge of the Sith.”. In the case of, “Othello.”. In the case of “Rocky 5.”. Those fictional stories are already written. This story, our story, here in the real world, is still being written.
When it comes to our police officers. Much of our mainstream media, and many of our politicians, operate under the: “Three D’s.”. Defund. Demonize. Demoralize.
Me, personally; in my own life, I operate under the: “Three P’s.”. Passion. Purpose. Principle. Passion is fire. It burns you. All of you. You see, I believe. Passion is love. I think that most would agree that love and hate are the two most powerful emotions that one can feel. But, love is stronger than hate. And this is something that can be easily proven. I will prove it right now. When you hate someone or something, you can one day learn to not hate that person or thing. You may never be able to love that person or thing. But, eventually over time, that hate in which you once felt for that person or thing can dissipate. However once you love someone that is it. Checkmate. No matter what they do to you. You will always love them. No matter how much you may wish you didn’t. You may even hate the fact that you love them. But that won’t change a damn thing. It comes down to this. Hate can be killed. Love is one impenetrable, inevitable and invincible. The three I’s. Hate makes you see nothing. Love makes you see hearts. And the passion that those hearts produce drive me to pursue all of my dreams every single day
The next P is purpose. There is purpose in everything that I do. I write stories for the purpose of piquing the excitement and interest of my audience. I write and perform these speeches to inspire police a officers to not give up hope and to help bridge that gap of trust and communication between police and the communities they serve.
The final P is Principles. Much like a person’s love my Principles are not for sale. These Principles include the following: – Honesty. – Always follow your heart. – If you see someone who needs help and you have the ability to help them. You do so. Never profit off of the suffering of others. – Judge others by what they do and never for what they look like. -Never discriminate against anyone based on their: – Gender. Race. Religion. Sexual orientation. Any medical condition they may be afflicted with; mental, physical or otherwise.
I believe that these three P’s that I have described and explained at least, in part are what inspired all of you to become police officers. For all of those police officers who are crying in their pillow today and tonight I will be my father and by that I mean I will always be there to listen to you and do anything that I can to provide you comfort in your difficult times. I am also here to announce that I will be launching an organization assist police officers and their families in a multitude of ways. My organization will also be pursuing other ways to help law enforcement officers, first responders and others out there who just need help. The name of this organization is called the, 1:9 organization. Based on the Bible verse, Joshua 1:9 which is tattooed on my right arm.
Read Taking A Hit by Joshua Marx at https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Hit-Joshua-Marx-ebook/dp/B012BRSPH4
Taking a hit by Joshua Marx 